Hanging out

This past week Ben has been at a curriculum training at the University of Illinois. So it's been just Eliza and me at home. I was changing her diaper shortly after Ben left, and telling her that "Daddy is on a trip, so right now it's just Mommy and Eliza hanging out at home." She picked up on "hang out" and so all this week she has been saying, "Mommy, Yi-ya [Eliza] hang out."

That's what it feels like we're doing right now, too. Marking time, not getting anything accomplished in the way of house upkeep... just reading books, watching Elmo, going to the park even though it's raining. I have had no energy for anything besides the care and feeding of Eliza. Luckily, Ben was able to come home for the weekend -- he has about 40 hours here before he returns for another week of training -- so right now I am able to devote some time to writing here while he and Eliza are at the park.

I am almost 9 weeks along, and I am tired. I have slept decently for the past few nights, but I think that has mostly been because I was denied a nap during the day. I am tired but can't sleep, and I am hungry but struggling to find some food that sounds good. I was not this food-averse with Eliza, and it is frustrating. The idea of cooking is repulsive, so I have been eating things like frozen waffles and Cheerios. But the little juxtaposition inside me is growing and measuring right where he/she is supposed to, per an ultrasound on Tuesday. My pants are getting tight, too, but I hope I can squeeze another few weeks out of them. I was hoping to make it through the summer without needing to buy maternity shorts, but now I'm just hoping to make it to the end of the first trimester (which is a VERY optimistic wish).

This Thursday I am flying to Tucson for my cousin's wedding. I'm going to tell my family the big news there, and I am excited about that. It will be just me (and Ball of Cells) going to the wedding, as Ben is still going to be gone, and I didn't want to drag Eliza to an evening wedding on Pacific time. I am going to miss her like crazy, but I am also getting a hotel room to myself for four nights. And after a week of solo parenting and two, yes, two bouts of cleaning up my daughter's vomit, I am really looking forward to some time to myself and some grown-up conversations with my family.

The first trimester tsunami

It seems that the wave of fatigue has hit. I have been napping every afternoon when Eliza does, and it doesn't seem to do much but put a dent in the sleepiness. I definitely seem to have morning sickness in the true sense of the term with this pregnancy, too -- very nauseous in the morning (almost threw up for the first time this morning), but it tapers off within a few hours and I feel mostly okay tummy-wise. With Eliza, the queasiness came on and off all day. So maybe this baby is a boy? I don't have a very strong feeling about it one way or the other yet.

It's been a busy week around here. Ben's parents came into town on Saturday for a long visit, helping us get some work done around the house, and of course, dote on Miss Eliza. She had a blast with her grandparents and had a long sleep last night, recovering from all her excitement and adventures. And for our part, we now have a new ceiling fan installed, landscape timbers in place in the backyard, a sandbox for Eliza, clean gutters, the house prepped for the remainder of exterior painting, and the lawn mowed.

I want to go to Costco this afternoon, but I realize that my will is weak and I will not be able to resist that box of cream puffs. Also, last night I had Kraft macaroni & cheese for the first time in ages, and holy hell, I can't stop thinking about it. So now a Costco trip will hopefully involve some bulk packaging of that for this pregnant lady's feasting.