Quality time

First of all, things are back to normal between Ben and me. We worked through our fight on Friday night, then we were fortunate enough to have my parents come over and watch Eliza while we went out on a date on Sunday afternoon. Let me just say that it's been a while since we sat at a bar. Anyway, all is peaceful in my happy world once more.

I have been thinking a lot about what it means to spend quality time with my daughter lately. She is a lot more independent than she was just a few months ago, so she has gotten a lot better at self-entertaining, and I'm able to get a little bit more done around the house each day. But I'm beginning to wonder if I should still be playing farm whenever she is playing farm, or reading her books when she seems pretty content with just looking through them... the eternal question Is Mom doing enough? shooting through my brain. I mean, I like having a few minutes to skim a magazine at lunch, or the chance to empty the dishwasher while she plays with her trains, but on the other hand, I don't want her to think that she has to play by herself. I'll play with her whenever she wants, but I guess the reason I don't immediately engage all the time is because it's pretty freaking boring. I love her to the moon and back, but Mama's brain turns into porridge at the thought of pushing zoo animals in and out of a tunnel for fifteen minutes. I know there are only like a zillion other stay-at-home-parents who feel this way. I do not claim to be unique.

What do I like doing with Eliza? I like taking her to the grocery store. She's actually really good and we talk and I push the cart fast, etc. I like taking her to our local library for a baby storytime once a week. We both love that. I like taking her on walks, but she has a lot less patience for that than she used to, and walks usually need to be by the train tracks or coupled with a park visit for her. And of course, walking without a stroller tends to be chaotic. I like reading books to her, but reading the same book seven times in a row would grate on the Dalai Lama. And as the weather gets warmer, I know I'll like taking her to the pool, or setting up our inflatable one in the backyard for her. I can't wait for that.

It's hard to stay at home because you so rarely get a glimpse into other people's similar daily lives. How do they manage their days? What could I learn from watching them? We're so isolated nowadays. And I did so much to make those connections by ditching the mom's group! Ha!