Know Thyself

Now that Eliza is older, I've been venturing out with her more and more into our suburban community, taking classes at the park district, attending a program at our library -- basically trying to get her exposed to being around other kids, since she's not in daycare and not yet old enough to attend preschool. As a white, middle-class, suburban, stay-at-home mother, I did what many other white, middle-class, suburban, stay-at-home mothers do and joined a moms' group. In part for the above, but also for my own sanity. We attended a few activities with the group before I realized that being a part of the group wasn't helping my sanity at all.

It was nothing against the friendly people I met. I just realized that even though I fit into a very stereotyped SAHM role, one facet of that lifestyle (the mommy groups) really didn't jibe with who I am. I'm an introverted person. I certainly enjoy hanging out with other people, but I prefer more intimate settings than the stress of trying to talk to a bunch of new people while trying to keep an out-of-control toddler from running into the road. It just wasn't the right situation for me in which to make new friends. Then I realized that, in many ways, I was also attempting to force myself into that stereotyped role. There was no reason to conform because other people claimed it would make me happy.

Eliza and I survived the winter, which initially intimidated me, having to keep my active girl more confined to our house. We had swimming classes and library storytime and many visits to the train table at Barnes & Noble to keep us busy, and with spring beginning to peep through our windows, a much wider world of activity opens up to us. (I should mention that I am always looking for free/super cheap activities for us to do -- there's plenty of indoor opportunities available if you're willing to cough up the dough.) And I'm happy. I know how I make friends and will allow those opportunities to unfold organically, rather than force them. I'm listening to my heart about this, and if there is one thing God wants to keeping beating over my head, it's that there are a million ways to live a life. Listen to your heart and live yours.